Porkus Gelatinous Massus| Spam Lover Poems |
How in the hell can I face another morning?
Bleak thoughts of work and living pile
heavy on my brain
Damn the eggs.
Damn the juice.
If I don't eat will that mean that it hasn't begun?
Lazy bones try to pull me back
to my musty bed.
Damn the bacon.
Damn the milk.
If I refuse to look, will the sun still rise?
Cold can opener in my hand
feels strange.
Damn the vitamins.
I'll have spam.
S*P*A*M
by tortoise, griddus, and pickles
S is for stability, it holds its shape so well
P is for the pig lips, the traces so tell-tale
A is for aspic, its salty, briney gel
So we come to the end pray-tell.
What's the letter for?
M is for the mystery meat that haunts us ever-more
Spam So Pink
by pickles and torotise
Spam so pink, spam so pink,
There it is by my kitchen sink
Spam so cold spam so jolly
I'll share my with Tracey Holley!
Sexy Spam Haiku
by gizzie
It's coming
Sensuous slide form the can
Erect on the plate.
Hopper
by gizzie
Red wheelbarrow, hopper full 'o Spam
Trundled 'round the hills and dales
by a strong young man.
Contemplating lunchtime
he stops by a babbling brook.
Since his cargo's lots and LOTS of Spam
he won't have to cook!
Spam
by ?
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian.Low-fat Spam
by gizzie
Lowfat Spam! I've seen it all!
Hormel has the guts and gall
To take away the grease we crave
To appease the diet craze
Rates right up, by how I judge
With Mrs. Richards low-fat fudge.
Chunks 'O Spam
by dash
Chunks of spam
Flying through the air
Hitting Dayle in his hair.
Conditioner? I think not!
Colorful additive on the spot!Gelatinous
by tortoise
Pink gelatinous mass
salty swine tastebud pleaser
delicious!The Contest
by the divine ms. "m"
I smile as the skillet begins to heat
I drop in the sliced up hunk of meat
Gonna enter that contest someday
Where you try to cook it up in some tasty way!Try it with some spinach hollandaise
Fry it with a dark molasses glaze
Bake it with garlic and spice
Smile when you win the final prize!The flashbulbs pop and I am pleased
As they roll out my prize and present it to me
Shining and gleaming under the lights
Mine for the taking home tonight!A lifetime's supply of the magical meat
That I try to make OTHER PEOPLE eat
That's when I woke up screaming, safe in my bed
And decided I should try vienna sausages instead!The Magical Meat
by tortoise and pickles
Spam, Spam the magical meat
The more you want it the more you eat!The more you eat the fatter you get
So scrape some off in the dish of your pet!
Twinkle
by gizzie
Twinkle, twinkle, little Spam,
Trapped inside your blue tin can
Don't you wish that you could be
Perched atop the Christimas tree?
Though we ALL know what you are,
I know you long to be a star...
October Party
by tortoise
October costumes to scare the soul
Witches, goblins, a small evil troll.
Fear them? None such as this
Hannah has come as a spam sandwich!
Christmas Spam
by gizzie
Christmas dinner we'll use spam
as a substitude for ham
Clove it, glaze it, bake it up
Eat too much as you'll throw up!
Die it up for an Easter treat
Remember that it once had legs
It rots much faster since it's meat
Don't hide it with your eggs!
| Fix Your Spam! |
Spam for breakfast
Spam for lunch
Spam for dinner, just a hunch.Bread it, mash it
Pig puree
I'll eat Spam anyday!
| Spam Links! | Back to RWS | Back to the Red Wheelbarrow Poems! |
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